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Emily Ratajkowski, Tim Riggins From ‘Friday Night Lights’ And A Goat Taking You Into The Weekend

Texas forever

 

 

I gave up on Call of Duty a long time ago — why get called a faggot for free when I get paid to do it here — but you give me some Tim goddamn Riggins and Spooky Ghost BFF Emily Ratajkowski plus gunfire and I’m tentatively in. This is advertising that works. Not video pop up bar on a website blasting Rihanna in your face effective, but effective all the same.

 

 

We shared some laughs today, made some friends, made you miss Big Cat even more. Have a lovely weekend trying to fingerbang a chick dressed like slutty Dora the Explorer and don’t do anything Riggins wouldn’t do.

 

By chris spags posted October 31st, 2014 at 4:30 PM

Barstool Weekly Soccer Preview

Hi haters! It’s your favourite* Euro-hipster, Sam, and I’m here to both ruin your day and desecrate the Stool with yet another weekly soccer post. Can we be honest for a second? I feel like we’ve now reached that point in our relationship where you no longer hate me, per se, but instead love to [...]

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Hi haters! It’s your favourite* Euro-hipster, Sam, and I’m here to both ruin your day and desecrate the Stool with yet another weekly soccer post.

Can we be honest for a second? I feel like we’ve now reached that point in our relationship where you no longer hate me, per se, but instead love to hate me. A small difference, perhaps, but significant nonetheless. Regardless, this is the part where I am about to start talking about soccer, which is your cue to head directly to the comments section – though I must warn you: Officer Spags is running things today, so watch your back.

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As for the rest of you, hello and welcome back to another preview of the wonderful weekend that the jogo bonito gods have seen fit to bless us with. So let’s get after it…

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ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE

First a quick recap of last weekend.

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A few highlights, lowlights and lessons learned:

1. Sunderland… what the fuck, bro? Coming off an 8-0 ass-waxing by Southampton they actually put in a commendable performance against Arsenal yet gave up two of the worst goals – both finished off by Alexis Sanchez – that you’re ever gonna see, eventually capitulating 2-0. (Perhaps it’s karma for Gus Poyet’s steadfast refusal to play Jozy Altidore for more than 15 minutes per game – and usually not even that much.)

2. It would be a little premature to say Newcastle “is fixed” or that Alan Pardew’s job is “safe” but suffice to say it was a hell of a week for Toon and its Army. Starting with a 2-1 win at Tottenham, highlighted by a goal to draw even just SIX SECONDS off the second half kickoff

followed by a well-deserved midweek win at City in the League Cup, the results will give Pardew at least a few days of peace… though as is always the case in the EPL, it’ll only take one more (bad) loss before the calls for his head resume.

3. Sturridge-less Liverpool is like a donkey show with nothing but donkeys. What’s the point?

4. Southampton has conceded just five goals all season. Sunderland (8 vs those same Saints) and Everton (6 vs Chelsea) have given up more goals in single games.

5. Everton is finally looking like the team everyone expected them to be this season. And none too soon.

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You’ve earned it

So here’s what’s on tap this weekend:

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PICKS OF THE WEEK!

Last week didn’t go so well for Sammy, but the lowlight – aside from watching Spurs cough up a lead and lose to [recently woeful] Newcastle – was the Chelsea game. The Blues got absolutely hosed by a late red card on Ivanovic that essentially gifted United the free kick and space to get a late equalizer (which, interestingly, United celebrated like they’d just won the World Cup as opposed to having rescued an undeserved point at home). I’d pick that game the same way 10 out of 10 times and get it right nine of them. Too bad, so sad.

This time round, the game of the weekend is without question the Manchester Derby, though the game may have lost some of its “sizzle” due to some important injuries both teams are carrying. Notably, City’s David Silva is out for a month and Yaya Toure is struggling with a finicky groin, while United’s Radamel Falcao is out and Wayne Rooney has been struggling but is expected to go. If and how well Toure and Rooney can play are serious question marks that could have a big impact on the game.

City (-110)
United (+285)
Draw (+275)

If this were at Old Trafford things might look different but as it stands both teams can score but only one has shown a consistent ability to defend – and it ain’t the Red Devils. The loss of Silva and Toure (if he can’t go) will/would be significant blows for City, which is the only reason I’m 97% sure instead of 100% sure that the Cityzens will win this game, but with Aguero acting as a one-man wrecking ball lately Rojo, Shaw & Co. are going to have a rough go of it. City wins 3-1.

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Stoke City (+130) is actually favored at home against West Ham (+210), which surprised me a little bit given the run of form that the Hammers have been on. Then again, bookies ain’t no dummies and on this one I absolutely agree that Big Sam’s recent run of results will come to an end. Stoke don’t play pretty soccer, but they play effective soccer, particularly at the Britannia Stadium. Stoke to win 2-1.

UPSET OF THE WEEK: I’m perplexed by the Newcastle (+275) versus Liverpool (-110) line. So much so in fact that I don’t want to make a pick… almost. But if you love money, and have some, then you should probably bet it on Newcastle, which is in the best form in months and plays a Liverpool team THAT CAN’T SCORE. Sure, the Reds might get one or maybe even two (but probably one) in this one because this game always produces goals galore and history has a way of repeating itself, but Newcastle is winning this game. They just are. Newcastle win 3-1.

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MLS PLAYOFFS

It’s “getting serious” time in the MLS as the field has been whittled down to the final eight.

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Among these games, Columbus hosting New England on Saturday (4pm ET on certain regional Comcast networks) is shaping up to be one hell of a partido as the Crew has won six of eight while the Revs have taken seven of nine. For those not acquainted with Stateside soccer, you should take a gander at this one. You’ll like what you see.

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SOLD!

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REST OF THE WORLD

Game of the week in Spain sees Celta Vigo visiting Barcelona on Saturday (3pm ET on beIN Sport) in a matchup of the sixth- and top-ranked teams in La Liga. Barca is coming off its first loss of the season at Real Madrid in El Clasico last weekend while Celta is coming off a 3-0 win over Levante.

Monchengladbach hosts Hoffenheim on Sunday morning (9:30am ET on GolTV) in what should be a highly entertaining affair – for those lucky few with cable access. Monchengladbach is in second place just behind Bayern and has yet to lose on the season (4 wins and 5 draws) while Hoffenheim is coming off a 5-1 pasting of Frankfurt last week. Should be goals aplenty.

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In Italy there are several games on TV, including Empoli versus Juventus on Saturday (1pm ET on beIN Sport) and Sampdoria against Fiorentina on Sunday (9am ET on beIN Sport), but to watch the best matchup of the weekend – Napoli (#7) hosting Roma (#2) on Saturday at 10am ET – you’ll have to resort to one of those sketchy websites. Scusate

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Aight, that’s all I got. It’s Friday, I’ve got some pony-handicapping to do for the big races tomorrow and there is beer to drink, so don’t let me keep you any longer.

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Some homegrown talent for the road


Holler,
Samuel D. Army

By samsarmy posted October 31st, 2014 at 4:00 PM

Runner’s World Editor Knows How To Apologize To A Lady Over Twitter

Well that was nice of him

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According to Gawker, Runner’s World editor-in-chief David Willey dropped this gem on Twitter only to delete it within 20 minutes. Accidentally tweeted DM or bold way to come clean about violating a woman’s rights? You decide. Not to sway your choice, but if you were going to be a very candid lover of sexual assault, wouldn’t a guy who really loves running be the best cover of all? Size 6 skinny jeans not necessarily known for their cardiovascular endurance.

 

 

For what it’s worth, Sexually Assault U could also be an aggressive rebrand campaign for Florida State if Jameis Winston decides to stay and play QB one more year. #FSUTwitter really embracing the role of the villain.

By chris spags posted October 31st, 2014 at 3:25 PM

Instagram Heat Check Of The Day

seems like the type of chick to ask me out and then order for me at the restaurant mikaelaosborn

seems like the type of chick to ask me out and then order for me at the restaurant

mikaelaosborn

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Read the rest of this entry »

By t bone posted October 31st, 2014 at 2:45 PM

Minnesota’s Thomas Vanek Being Investigated For Money Laundering And Gambling

(Source)–According to a report in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, current Minnesota Wild forward Thomas Vanek was allegedly involved in a money laundering scheme. The report alleges that while a member of the Islanders, Vanek endorsed a pay-check in the amount of $230,000 to Mark Ruff to cover a gambling debt. On Thursday, Ruff pleaded guilty in federal [...]

Sochi Olympics Ice Hockey Men

(Source)–According to a report in the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, current Minnesota Wild forward Thomas Vanek was allegedly involved in a money laundering scheme.

The report alleges that while a member of the Islanders, Vanek endorsed a pay-check in the amount of $230,000 to Mark Ruff to cover a gambling debt.

On Thursday, Ruff pleaded guilty in federal court to illegal gambling and money laundering. Ruff admitted to helping his brother, Joseph Ruff, and Paul Borrelli manage a gambling operation.

Local attorney James Wolford did not confirm Vanek’s involvement; however, Vanek was linked to aRochester, NY gambling investigation during the summer.

Vanek spent nine seasons in the Buffalo Sabres organization. Buffalo’s American Hockey League affiliate is the Rochester Americans – where Vanek turned pro during the 2004-05 season.

 

Pretty crazy story.  Not a lot of details our there right now so I guess I am just going to have to take a page out of Big Cat’s book and make this a choose your own adventure blog.

 

Here’s what we know: Vanek paid off his $230,000 gambling debt to his bookie by endorsing an Islanders payroll check. Now, I watched that “30 for 30″ about Boston College basketball gambling so I know everything there is to know about gambling and dealing with the mob. If you get in trouble with the mob, they own you. That’s what happened with Vanek. First they had him help in a money laundering scheme, probably running drugs across the Canadian border and before you know it he’s shaving points. Gambling is a harmless vice. A victimless crime. Until the mob gets involved. Then innocent people get hurt. Innocent people like you and me, but mostly just me. Like when I woke up to being in a huge hole because Vanek and the entire Austrian Hockey Team got hammered drunk in Sochi and threw their elimination game vs Slovenia. Austria had no business losing that game to Slovenia. Certainly shouldn’t have lost 4-0.  But hey, if you know you are losing the game on purpose because the mob is going to throw your best player’s corpse in the East River if you don’t then might as well drink infinity beers until 6am.

 

Now, obviously Vanek isn’t actually being accused of point shaving. Its practically impossible for one guy to fix a hockey game. With that said, Vanek’s effort has always been inconsistent at best. Probably because he’s(allegedly) fixing games. If I were a Sabres, Islanders or Habs fan I would be thinking about every time Vanek didn’t hustle back on defense, or turned the puck over or missed the net. I hope he doesn’t get in trouble or suspended because now that he’s a division rival I wouldn’t mind seeing him be intentionally vs the Blackhawks. I feel like he owes me at least that much.

 

 

 

By theChief posted October 31st, 2014 at 2:00 PM

Slutty ISIS Chicks Versus Blackface Serena and Venus Williams, Who Ya Got?

Offensive Halloween costume showdown!

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versus

 

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These are two of the more noteworthy “offensive” chick Halloween costumes floating around today and there are compelling arguments to be made for both. On the one hand, mocking people beheaded by a terrorist group seems a bit declassé. On the other hand, STRONG blackface/body paint and #blackchicks is a pretty bold move. It’s a tough call but, since I have to choose in this scenario I just conjured up for myself, I’m going with a shocker: Blackface is slightly less offensive here. They didn’t pad out the asses or do anything obviously racist like throw on an afro wig and, again, ISIS is pretty much as evil as it gets. Just seems a wee bit shortsighted to glamorize them with your taught middle-Eastern abs. We can still bang and you can do that weird “Allahu akbar” tongue thing on my grundle but I’m very disappointed in you, ladies.

 

 

Plus side: Terrorist Barbie who uploaded that ISIS pic can definitely get it.

 

 

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By chris spags posted October 31st, 2014 at 1:24 PM

This Weekend The Only Place To Be Is Joe’s Bar On Weed Street. Breeders Cup Saturday, NFL Sunday

      Huuuuuuge sports weekend. NBA is back, College football has a huge slate, NFL (Bears with the bye so we get a reprieve from suck), and the Breeders cup on Saturday. Man, wish there was a place where I could watch all to of those games AND bet on horses. Oh wait, there [...]

 

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Huuuuuuge sports weekend. NBA is back, College football has a huge slate, NFL (Bears with the bye so we get a reprieve from suck), and the Breeders cup on Saturday. Man, wish there was a place where I could watch all to of those games AND bet on horses. Oh wait, there is, it’s called Joe’s Bar on Weed Street. OTB is attached to Joe’s so you can spend all Saturday betting the Breeders Cup and watching College Football, then come back on Sunday and bet the more degenerate tracks and watch all of the NFL. Great deals, all the sports you need and hopefully some winners. No brainer all around.

 

 

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By Big Cat posted October 31st, 2014 at 12:40 PM

Charlotte McKinney Is The Best Thing To Happen To Baths Since Rubber Duckies

Splish splash

 

 

I presume I’m not really a bath guy because I’m an adult and not a woman in a romantic comedy having a stressful week at work. But when I was on vacation a couple weeks ago they offered this thing called “a romantic bath” and obviously I had to take them up on it because god forbid you get branded with having scumbag taste around these parts. The bath ended up looking like this:

 

bath

 

While the champagne was nice and conceptually I like the idea of frolicking around in some bubbles, the bath thing just didn’t do it for me. Maybe it was the fact that the water was so hot that it felt like it was vengeful townspeople trying to get revenge on Freddy Krueger or maybe it was how my dick kept floating upwards in the water as if it were a sun dial. Hard to say. But the point is that, in that moment, I reasserted that bath life is not a life for me.

 

But seeing Charlotte McKinney here, is it possible I’m wrong? Perhaps baths are a gateway to enlightenment and relaxation I’m just not equipped to handle. I feel like I’m missing out on something. Or just cobbling together a blog as an excuse to post more of Charlotte McKinney’s A++ titties, personally my favorite pair on the Internet. Hard to say.

 

 

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Plus nipples here because we are not savages.

By chris spags posted October 31st, 2014 at 11:30 AM
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